Quote Drabbles
by Star of the Wolf
Summary: Drabbles inspired by assorted quotes from the Lord of the Rings movies. Drabble collection. Parody.
1. You Do Not Know Fear!

_Mae govannen, all! Ithillaer here. The part in bold is the quote, the rest is from my imagination. :)_

_This takes place When Saruman is yelling to the vast army of Uruk-hai before he sends them out to capture/kill the fellowship._

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**"Hunt them down. Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain. You do not know fear. You will taste Man-flesh!"** Saruman roared to the army assembled below him. He then disregarded the monsters, turning to speak to their commander, Lurtz.

Below him, in the crowd, a confused Uruk-hai turned to his comrade. "Hey," he asked slowly, thoughtfully, "what IS pain? What IS fear? Saruman just said we don't know it," he continued in their guttural language, "but how do we not know something if we don't know what it is?"

The other Uruk-hai's mouth slowly dropped open, his eyes widening. "I…I don't know. Why would he say that?" he asked rhetorically, getting upset now. His brows furrowed, his grip on his sword tightening in rage. "I HATE not knowing! GAAAARRR!"

The other Uruk-hai around them, oblivious to the whole exchange but the second Uruk-hai's outburst, took up the growl. Soon, the whole of Isengard resounded with the army's battle-cry.

…And everyone wondered why the same monster began the battle-cry before each battle.

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_What do you think? REVIEW!_


	2. Together, We Will Rule This COOKIE!

_Hi! So, this is just something my strange brain came up with... ENJOY! And PLEASE review! :D ~Ithillaer_

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"**Together, My Lord Sauron, we shall rule this Middle-Earth**," Saruman boomed, obviously pleased with himself.

If Sauron had still had his physical body, he would have done a spit-take at _that_ idea. "What?" he laughed maniacally in Saruman's mind. "You think, you _dare to think_ that you will –actually– rule _with_ me? Pah!" he snorted.

Saruman's face fell, aquiring a hurt and confused countenance. "Well, My Lord, I thought… I just assumed that you would need help-"

"HELP? Help, Saruman? You _assume_ that _I_ need _help_? You do not think that I am capable of ruling?"

"N-no, My Lord. I only meant that… with your lack of a physical-"

"Saruman." The Dark Lord was deceptively calm sounding.

"Yes, My Lord?" Saruman was not convinced.

"Do you not realize that when the Ring returns to me, _I can have a new body_? But even without, do you believe me incapable?"

"No! No, My Lord Sauron! It's just… how would you give orders to others? Would you not need a physical form for that?"

Sauron rolled his giant fiery Eye. "Saruman," he said, taking on the tone of voice one would use when explaining something to a small child.

"My Lord?"

"How am I speaking to you now?" The same condescending tone.

"Why, telepathically, but…Oh."

Sauron gave his Eye another roll. "Give the Wizard a cookie," he groaned sarcastically.

"I get a cookie?" Saruman asked excitedly, completely against his whole personality. A berating by the Dark Lord himself could do that to you.

"NO!" Sauron bellowed, making the Wizard flinch. "Get back to your work!" he yelled, retreating from Saruman's mind for now.

Following Sauron's last instruction, Saruman grumbled to himself. "Could have at least given me a cookie…"

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_Please review? Please? PLEASE? I'll give every review a virtual hug and a cookie! They're delicious, AND you'll make Saruman jealous! Yummmm... ;)_


	3. A Diversion!

_Hello again, all you wonderful readers! Okay, so we all know how dumb Legolas sounds when he is forced to state the obvious... Well, have you ever wondered WHY he continually does? This is what my mind came up with to answer that question. Now, I usually hate -and I mean HATE- fics where the characters look stupid, but... this one just kinda... wrote itself, you know? *innocent smile*_

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"**A diversion**," Legolas stated, a smug smile on his face.

Gimli looked sideways at his friend. "Legolas," he asked, "why must you always state the obvious?"

The Elf looked at him, arching a perfect eyebrow at the question. "That's why," he stated matter-of-factly.

Gimli, now completely puzzled, furrowed his brow and looked at Gandalf and, in turn, Éomer and Aragorn. Aragorn raised his shoulders as if to say, 'I'm not going to even _try_ to understand his logic.' With no answers forthcoming from anyone else, the dwarf turned his attention back to Legolas, who had watched the whole interchange with an amused smile. "What's why?" he grunted, adjusting his grip on his axe to keep from punching the snide smile right off of his friend's face.

"Why, Gimli, that is just it! It is so simple, yet you do not understand! I, having been living in Arda for thousands of years, understand and can grasp the details not easily seen. This, my dear friend, is why I must explain things to you. You, a young, ignorant Dwarf, could not hope to grasp the intricacies of such speech." Gimli started sputtering, but Legolas cut him off. "This is not a reflection on you in particular, friend Gimli. I am merely speaking from years of experience observing and learning about Dwarves."

Gimli growled. "You, _Elf_," he shouted, spit flying from his mouth in his rage, "do NOT have THE RIGHT to INSULT my race such!" Suddenly wondering why he was not knocking the insolent Elf to the ground, he became aware of Aragorn and Éomer pinning his arms behind his back and restraining him. It was with slight feral satisfaction that Gimli noticed that they had to struggle to drag him from the room. Once over the threshold, the doors slammed shut seemingly of their own accord; obviously Gandalf's input. Once the doors touched, Aragorn and Éomer released the dwarf, spinning him by the shoulder so they were facing each other.

"Gimli. Gimli!" Aragorn had to shout just to get the dwarf's attention. Gimli's eyes snapped to his face. "Gimli, Legolas did not quite understand the implications of his words." Gimli grunted an affirmative. "Being an Elf," Aragorn continued, "he often forgets that different races mature at different ages. His race comes of age at fifty years. Hobbits do at thirty-three. Dwarves and Men, as you know, also have different comings of age. And so, my friend, you must remember that in his eyes, we are no more than children."

Gimli seemed to calm down a bit. Aragorn knocked on the doors, alerting Gandalf that it was okay to let them back in. As the doors slowly grated back open, Éomer leaned down to Gimli's level. "I can't say that I don't agree with you, though… It bugs me to no end as well!"

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_Aww. Don't you just feel for Gimli? So misunderstood. Review? Please? :D_

_~Ithillaer_


	4. Mellon

_Sorry I seemed to have abandoned this account... my plot squirrel (yes, I have a squirrel, not a bunny) has decided to take all of my plot-acorns and run away with them. Which is annoying. Very annoying. Because you know what he does with them after he runs away? He buries them. And then what? He forgets where they are buried. Like all squirrels do. Thus, I lose plot after plot after plot after... Well, you get the idea._

_Aaaanyway... I was watching the movies again, and remembered 5MoreSecondsFB 's request to me to write a Gandalf quote drabble. And so I went through FotR looking for good Gandalf quotes. And my squirrel brought me this acorn! (Yes, he's useful sometimes.)_

_Ai, Elbereth! This A/N is almost as long as the drabble! Okay, here you go; enjoy. And as always, PLEASE feel free to REVIEW! My squirrel might bring me acorns faster if you do... Either way, both he and I love getting reviews!_

_~Ithillaer_

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"**Oh, it's useless**," Gandalf said with a sigh, walking over to where Frodo sat, dragging his staff along behind him. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Frodo, lighting his eyes.

"**It's a riddle**," he muttered. Then, turning to Gandalf, he asked, "**What's the Elvish word for 'friend'?**"

"**Mellon**." Gandalf replied immediately, wondering what the young (in his eyes, anyway) hobbit was getting at.

The doors of Moria began swinging outward at once. Waiting for them to open, Gandalf's mind was racing. _Why_ had _he_ not thought of that? Maybe he really was getting old, even for a Maia. Not for the first time, and certainly not the last, Gandalf wondered why in Arda he had chosen an old man's form. Before he could ponder that too much, however, his mind limped back to the situation surrounding the riddle, nursing his wounded pride. He should have _known_ that answer! He had certainly been alive when the doors were often used; Valar, even _Aragorn_ had been!

As if reading the old Wizard's thoughts, Samwise looked consolingly at Gandalf. Though he looked not at the hobbit, Gandalf noticed and set his face into his indifferent mask, ready as he would ever be to lead the Fellowship into the Mines of Moria.


End file.
